Category Archives: Life

Good Memories of 2011?

 

The past few years, I’ve started each new year with a few posts about “Good Memories” from the previous year, things that I enjoyed or that had special meaning to me. So far, this year I haven’t done that. (To see earlier good memories, just click on the “Good Memories” category in the sidebar.)

I have given a lot of thought to doing it, and have a handful of posts in mind, but motivation has been lacking. Last year was largely painful for me, and there aren’t many things that stand out as particularly “good.” And so far this year my depression has its claws in my back and when I try to move forward it just digs in deeper.

Still, the act of writing the posts, of writing at all, is a kick in the nuts to Demon Depression, and I am starting to make some headway again (he typed, hearing the rhythmic sloosh of laundry washing in the next room). So in the next week or two, I plan to get on with it.

I also plan to get back to blogging more in general again. I’ve been in a slump for a while, for a lot of reasons (many of them bad memories), and I know the world needs my wisdoms.

Little Star (Song of the Week, 1/17/2012)

Last night, Stevie Nicks’s cover of “Not Fade Away” cycled up on my musical playlist and my son and I were bop-bop-bop bop-bopping around the Byrdcave, having fun. I told him it was a Buddy Holly song, so that sent us looking for Holly tunes, then we expanded out and started listening to some other early rock and roll greats.

It was only after I started playing it that I remembered how I used to sing the Elegants’ “Little Star” to him as a lullaby when he was a baby, probably the only lullaby I ever sang to him other than Springsteen’s “Pony Boy.”

A Cool Yule To All Y’all (Song of the Week, Xmas 2011)

Happy Holidays to everyone, whatever their faith or lack thereof. Let’s be nice to each other out there, okay?

Happy(?) Veterans’ Day

It’s Veterans’ Day. Here are some posts I made today on Facebook:
  • I’m a veteran. Every year on Veterans’ Day, all day long I feel like everybody is trying to make everybody else eat their spinach on my behalf, and shaming them if they don’t eat. Please. I don’t care who eats the spinach.
  • Just want to say thank you to all the veterinarians out there, who keep our beloved pets healthy and safe and only ask for lots of money in return.
  • Today, let’s all make sure to thank all the selfless vegetarians who don’t eat meat so that the rest of us have more tasty flesh to enjoy.
  • Thank you, thank you, thank you to the bold Venusians who have not preemptively invaded our planet and killed oodles of innocents because they fear our weapons of mass destruction.
  • We should all be very grateful to, and show our support for, all the Virginians for their…um…for something, I’m sure.
  • Today, we must all remember to thank our vitamins, who answer the call and help us stay healthy, and even taste yummy when their forms are gummy.
  • Everyone honor our strong vas deferens which bring pleasure to our days and help us exist in the first place.

I’ve been having a bit of fun, joking around about the wave of Veterans’ Day posts that we see every year on this day, and I know not everyone appreciates the humor. I get that, and I’m sympathetic. But I don’t apologize.

I’m a veteran. I’ve had blood on my hands. I’ve lost friends. And to me, though I realize how sincere most people are, Veterans’ Day is a day of jingoism and platitudes, particularly in a time when we send our soldiers to die in wars we do not need to fight, and when we don’t take care of them when they come home.

Yes, we should honor the soldiers who are fighting and dying in our name, but we should do that by making sure they are doing so ONLY when necessary, otherwise we are wasting their efforts and their lives. Honor them by doing all you can to bring them home. Let their spouses curl up with them every night, their parents be able to sleep in peace, and their children grow up with fathers and mothers.

Yes, we should honor the veterans who have fought in our name when ordered, whether misused by their leaders or not. And to do that best, we should make sure they are given the medical and psychological attention they need when they’re back home, and we should make sure they’re given the benefits they’ve been promised (the VA screwed me out of over 80% of my College Fund, and I’m not alone), we should make sure their homes haven’t been stolen by bankers, and we should do all we can to help them find security in our lousy economy.

So yeah, wave the flag if you want to, tell everyone how important it is to honor our warriors, but if that’s the extent of it, it’s meaningless. If you want to thank me for my service, do something that’s going to help those who need help because they volunteered.

The Bones Of My Soul

 

Some days, no matter the sunshine or time with friends or shards of productivity, I still mostly feel the corpse waiting in my skin, the creaking bones of my soul. It’s been a year of loss.

Happy Hallowe’en (and the Song of the Week, 10/31/2011)

Halloween/Samhain has always been my favorite holiday. To celebrate, here’s Springsteen channeling the raging ghost of Howlin’ Wolf with a perfect Halloween song…

For the interested, here are some posts from back in my blog somewheres related to Halloweeny goodness…

5 Classic Horror Flicks to Goose Your Bumps

…for those who might like to watch something scary and good, I figured I’d throw you a few bones. Collect ‘em all and you can build a skeleton.

These are just five classics, not my all time favorites or anything with that much thought behind it, not in any particular order. All of them are first rate.

5 New Classic Horror Flicks You Might Have Missed

Some more contemporary works that many people haven’t seen, and everybody who loves a good scare needs to.

Saturday Night With Cthulhu

Sebastian’s Voodoo (A Great Short Film)

A wonderful short animated film by UCLA student Joaquin Baldwin. It’s visually amazing, and the story is very moving.

“The Show Is Over” by Nora Keyes

Last Halloween’s Song of the Week, Nora Keyes gettin’ her serious creep on.

Further On Up The Road (Song of the Week, 10/10/2011)

“Now I been out in the desert, just doin’ my time
Searchin’ through the dust, lookin’ for a sign
If there’s a light up ahead well brother I don’t know
But I got this fever burnin’ in my soul
So let’s take the good times as they go
And I’ll meet you further on up the road…”

Roads are forking, taking a beloved friend from my life. This is for that friend.

I’m going to miss you.

“One sunny mornin’ we’ll rise I know
And I’ll meet you further on up the road…”

On Track 2.0

It’s late and I should be in bed. So what better time to update the couple of people out there who’re interested in what’s been going on with me.

Previously On Under An Outlaw Moon…

Tim struggled with deep dark depression. Tim underwent ECT, electroconvulsive therapy, aka electroshock treatments. It was pretty cool, and helped a lot.

Tim started a plan to get his life in order, calling it “On Track.” Among other things, he was writing every day, and exercising regularly, and he posted his progress online so people could see if he was doing what he was supposed to. This went really well for a while. Then, it didn’t.

Depression returned. Inertia set in. Tim floundered…

So, what’s happened since then? Continue reading →

Song of the Week for 9/11/2011

Live. Love. Breathe. Dance. Sing. Create. Follow your heart. And be there for people.

It’s too easy to lose each other. And time is always short.

 

You’re Not Awesome

This blog post by Melissa Pierce is the wisest bit of wisdom I’ve read from anybody in a while…

You’re Not Awesome

It’s the Apocalypse. My Bad.

When I was a kid, I’d sometimes slip into action movie mode while doing mundane tasks. One of the ways I did this was to suddenly realize that there was a doomsday timer attached to my current action, and if I didn’t accomplish it in time, the world would explode.

Will I finish tying my shoe before the phone rings again…or will the world EXPLODE…?

Can I keep holding my breath until the commercial ends…or will the world EXPLODE…?

Will I make it through the evening without my father getting drunk and mean…or will the world EXPLODE…?

The world exploded fairly regularly on that last one.

This morning, I woke up at six, the time I get up when my son is here and has school. But he’s with his mom today, so there was no reason to get up that early, so I went back to sleep.

I had an odd dream in which I was visiting New York on a whim, seeing old friends and older enemies. And I misplaced my copy of The Trembling of a Leaf, the best porn erotic novel I ever read.

I woke up again and it was after nine. Later than intended, but no big deal, I have no place to be. Grabbed my iPad from the bedside, headed to the living room, put the iPad on the couch, and let the cat in for breakfast (“Noms,” quoth he). In the kitchen, I poured a cup of last night’s coffee and put it in the microwave for a minute and a half.

I fed the cat. Went to take a leak. Pulled on a shirt. Returned to the living room. I picked up the iPad and reached for its cord to plug it in to charge…and heard the hum of the microwave, still nuking my coffee.

I suddenly realized I had to stick the plug into the iPad before the microwave chimed…

I acted swiftly, bringing my hands toward each other, aiming the little plug for the slot at the gadget’s base. They touched. I wiggled the plug into position–

DING.

The world exploded.

The Hard Life of the Spoiled eReader…

tommy

Anyone who has ever waited tables will recognize the dynamics of the following conversation. This is why I’m glad I don’t work in customer service any more:

 J.A. Konrath

Konrath & Crouch discuss the future of ebooks, and a new sales idea for authors. http://t.co/nqX8cXo

12 hours ago via TweetPo.st ·
  • 5 people like this.

    •  Katie Hardin If you want to keep a reader like me you need to keep the middleman, because books not purchased through Amazon cannot be transferred to the Kindle App on the iPod or iPhone.
      7 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd Actually the Kindle apps will open any file in the proper format.

      5 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd Additionally, if you’re using an iPod/iPhone/iPad, you can use other apps like Stanza or iBooks.

      5 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin maybe the newest upgrade does, but this time last year with the Kindle version of the Dracula ARC Amazon confirmed that titles not downloaded from Amazon would not transfer to the kindle app.
      2 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd All I know is I have books on my iPad that I didn’t get from Amazon but are in Kindle format, I read them using the Kindle app, and they show up in my Kindle menu.

      2 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin yes and the iPad is a tablet i.e. more computer than a e-reader. I can read titles in the Kindle for PC app on my computer that have not been gotten from Amazon, but i cannot transfer them to my device.
      2 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd OK, I see.

      I think the way i do it is to email the file to myself, or put it in my Dropbox, then click on it on the iPad. It gives you the option of opening it in Kindle, and once you have, it’s in the menu.

      Let me make sure that’s the way…I’ll post an update.

      2 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin As a reader I want to read on the app I prefer. If an author wants to make that harder for me by only offering their books from their website and in effect forcing me to use an app such as Stanza rather than the one I prefer to read on…there are plenty of other authors to read
      2 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin I love reading Joe’s books. Unfortunately as a reader I wasn’t willing to pay the same price for an e-Book as a print version costs…so I missed the last one. Guess I’ll be missing more titles by him if that .54¢ is more important to him than a loyal reader
      2 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd 

      Okay, I just sent a mobi file (the Kindle format) to myself, then clicked to open it on my iPad. I got a pop-up menu that gave me the option of opening it in Kindle. I clicked, it downloaded it in a few seconds, and opened properly. Now it’s in my Kindle library.

      I’d say you’re being unfair to the authors, who are in this scenario simply trying to make a living with their work as well as they can, except many people won’t want to be bothered with taking an extra step or two, or using a different app, so your concern isn’t one to dismiss.

      Also, it remains true that the Kindle will only read its dedicated format, not one of the open formats like epub that can be used more broadly. Hopefully Amazon will stop being so stridently controlling and shift to epub down the line.

      2 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin I’m just saying having to get someone to send me a referral to Dropbox, having to set my iPod up to get email, then having to email that file, and transfer it to the app I want is too much of a hassle when there are so many other one click buys I could open much faster.
      2 hours ago ·

    • Tim Byrd Anyway, if the author makes the book available on his website in mobi format, you can put it on your device.

      2 hours ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin And in the case of Rowling…too little too late. I’m betting those 7 books aren’t going to be priced under $3
      about an hour ago ·

    • Tim Byrd I hope she manages to sell a few anyway. Hate to see her have to go back on the dole.

      about an hour ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin and that is the whole underlying layer to this. Greed. When authors suddenly don’t care how much more work the reader has to do just so the author can cut out the middleman and make .54¢ more for this reader it goes to far and those negative feelings effect my enjoyment of reading that title.
      about an hour ago ·

    • Tim Byrd It took me less effort to transfer and open that file in Kindle than it has to type my comments here.

      about an hour ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin sorry you’re right my opinion as a reader is obviously not valid. I must be over exaggerating the difference between typing on a 2 inch wide touch screen keyboard and an iPad keyboard
      about an hour ago ·

    • Tim Byrd 

      My point wasn’t that your opinion isn’t valid. My point was that the amount of effort it takes to actually perform the vexing task of getting a book you presumably want to read onto your device is negligible. Making a sandwich is a more taxing task. If that slight effort is enough to keep you from reading a book, then you didn’t really want to read that book.

      Also, though it should be obvious, I’m not speaking in any way for Mr. Konrath. I was trying to help you.

      about an hour ago ·

    •  Katie Hardin 
      so my not wanting to be required to perform a “vexing task” (which since you do not use an iPod to read you have no idea how vexing it is) implies I am lazy and that readers should be expected to work if they want to read a certain title, because it is more important that an author increase the money they are paid by 37% rather than remain loyal to readers and a distribution system that developed & opened up better opportunities for them
      7 minutes ago ·

    • Tim Byrd You may not be lazy, but you’re certainly possessed of a highly developed sense of entitlement. Would you like Joe to come turn the pages for you?

      2 minutes ago ·

We All Have A Story

In this video, an 18 year old woman tells us her story, and it is a very moving story indeed.

Good Jesus, Bad Jesus

What is the heart and soul of Christianity in America?

If you pay attention to most of the news related to Christianity, what you see is hatred and intolerance, militarism and fascism, a lockjawed embrace of ignorance, and a blind adherence to principles which seem to actually fly in the face of those presented by Christ himself.

Last week I was fortunate (blessed?) to have the opportunity to see the two extremes of Christian behavior, and while the first was disheartening, the second was wonderful.

First, the suck. Continue reading →

Where IS My Mind? My Return, My Headspace, and the Song of the Week…

It’s been a while.

Partly this was due to a very enjoyable New York vacation (thanks again, Phil & Angie, with a drunken shout-out to Ross), partly due to a general psychological crunch brought on by a major health scare (which proved to be false, thank the gods) and the last radioactive traces of the break-up I’d been trying to fix for way too long, partly due to what seems to be a normalization process in my brain after the giddy trauma of electroshock therapy.

I’ve been out of town and off my game. And most definitely off track.

But, I’m back. I’m healthy. My heart is healed, if still grieving at the loss of someone who would be a fine friend (but who, in truth, I think was right about our romantic incompatibility…the signs were there all along, I just chose to ignore them). And the worst of the crazy brought on by my ECT treatments seems to have receded, leaving me still better able to deal with my demon depression, but not an emotional basket case. It’s like my spine has returned from sabbatical. I am again myself. Mostly. I think.

Now it’s time to get back to work. I’m renewing my commitment to my On Track program, formally beginning this coming Monday. And I’m going to be fine-tuning it some, based on my earlier experiences (for instance, I’m upping my daily minimum word count for writing to 1,000 rather than 500).

Also, I should be on here more again. I hope you’ll join me.

In the meantime, here’s the first Song of the Week in a while, a haunting and lovely piano cover of the Pixies’ “Where Is My Mind” by Maxence Cyrin.

Can’t Stop A Train

Great song by the Derailers (perhaps the perfect theme band for my weeks “off track” of late)…

Another mile, another memory 
of a love I’m trying to forget 
There’s no cure, for my misery, 
or I haven’t found it yet 

Chorus:
Can’t stop a train, can’t stop a heart; 
I’m feeling pain when it’s falling apart 
Can’t keep the one you love from changing; 
When it’s rolling, can’t stop a train 

Our love is a raging fire that consumes my heart and soul 
It ran hot right down to the wire when it burns out of control 
Where is our love, was it just a sweet dream? 
So good while it lasted, now it’s gone, moving on, 
can’t stop a train

Repeat Chorus

When it’s gone, moving on, can’t stop a train, can’t stop a train 

If He Can Do It…

If you need a bit of perspective on life…

Nails

I don’t know the source of this tale, but it’s one I needed to read and it found its way to me.

Grandson, why are you so full of hateful words?

Grandmother, because I am angry and I feel like saying what I want and who cares anyway, they are just words!

Grandson, here is a box of nails and a hammer. Go and every time you abuse someone or tease or say other hurtful things hit a nail into the fence.

Grandmother, I have used all the nails in your box what now?

Grandson, every time you say something nice to someone you have spoken badly to or even apologise for your words take a nail out of the fence.

Grandmother, I am finished but it took a lot longer to take them out then to hit them all in.

Yes, Grandson, and you see all these holes left behind from the nails?

Grandmother, of course I can see them..why do you ask?

Grandson, every time you hurt someone with words or deeds you make a hole in their hearts and leave scars you can’t see… so even when you apologize or do good deeds later, you remove the nails but a scar or hole remains and takes a lot more time to heal…

“What A Wonderful World” (Song of the Week 7/4/11)

 

It is a wonderful world. I hope to have a lot more time to experience its magic with those I love.

My Pulp Pit Column at IMJ Returns! Pulp Pit #2: “I Am Not Doc Savage”

After many travails, my second column at Inveterate Media Junkies is now finally online:

I AM NOT DOC SAVAGE