Tag Archives: Life

The Souls of Dogs

Travis 1995-2007

Travis 1995-2007

There’s a good short piece in the Seattle Times about the ethical/emotional lives of dogs. It’s not going to provide any groundbreaking insight to anyone who has ever lived with a dog, but it’s a nice break from the usual Cartesian philosophy that animals are guided entirely by instinct and have no emotions.

One thing I was very interested to find out:

“Dogs apparently laugh,” Page said. The same brain structures show the same activity in laughing humans and in dogs that are enjoying themselves. A dog’s laugh is a rhythmic pant.

I know that pant. You naturally know it means happy, but I had no idea it’s actual laughter, physiologically speaking.

Go here to read.

A Father Dreams…

I’ve been suffering insomnia for a while now, waking up anytime between 2:30 and 5:30 (with the target being rising at 6:00) and not being able to fall back to sleep. I’m beginning to think I may as well start planning to actually make use of the time, since I’m up anyway, rather than just puttering about and waiting for the son rise (when he gets up to get ready for school).

Last night, woke up at 2:30. I had maybe three and a half hours sleep.

This morning, gravity dragged at me like I was on Jupiter. My son, Nathaniel, and I always read for an hour in the morning, and I could barely keep my eyes open. This is all made even more ironic by the fact that the main book I’m reading at the moment is Insomnia by Stephen King. (And no, the problem didn’t start when I started the book).

Once Nathaniel headed to school, I flopped onto the couch and fell asleep. And I dreamed…

…I can’t recall much about the situation…various people I know were at a school or a mall or, I don’t know, some sort of underground base…

I do remember that I was trying to meet folks who could review or otherwise help promote my book (huh, wonder where that came from)…

There was also some sort of lurking threat, like something buried or trapped underground. I think maybe it was down a passage we planned to take, and there was an argument in the group (me, my son, and I don’t recall who else) that it was too dangerous. So we opted to go the longer way around, aboveground.

Up top, we made our way across a landscape full of debris. Construction of some kind was going on. And there was a huge chasm off to the right, three or four hundred feet deep.

We walked close to the edge, peering in. And Nathaniel squatted near the brink, on some cardboard that was part of the general clutter of the world around us.

And I noticed his feet were on a part of the cardboard that actually hung slightly over the edge. And the board started to slip in the loose dirt.

I cried out for him to get back, but it happened too fast. His feet slipped with the cardboard, and he fell.

I landed on my belly at chasm’s edge, grabbing for him.

And I caught the collar of his shirt.

I hauled him back up, over the edge, onto solid ground. And I just lost it, overcome from the surge of terror and the sweet release of joy that I’d saved him, wrapping him in my arms, rolling back and forth, kissing the top of his head and crying harder than I’ve ever cried in my life…

The emotion was so strong, it woke me. I could feel adrenaline buzzing in my veins, but the happiness that I’d saved my son in the dream lingered.

Happiness that he’s alive.

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The Fives on Facebook (Another Cool Meme)

I’m enjoying the latest meme-thingy on Facebook, which allows you to choose a list of 5 things (“5 Favorite Foods,” “5 Jobs You’ve Had,” “5 Best Comic Book Characters,” that sort of thing), and allows you to pick pictures to show those things. The results look something like this:

Tim Byrd – Who would you want to play you in a movie?
Viggo Mortensen Aidan Quinn Mel Gibson george clooney Tim Byrd
Tim Byrd chose Viggo Mortensen, Aidan Quinn, Mel Gibson, george clooney, Tim Byrd.
Tim Byrd – People you would like to Punch In The Face!
George W. Bush Dick Cheney Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity George W. Bush
Tim Byrd chose George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity, George W. Bush.
Tim Byrd – Favorite movies of all time
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark The Lady Eve Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl The Dark Knight Casino Royale
Tim Byrd chose Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Lady Eve, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, The Dark Knight, Casino Royale.
Tim Byrd – biggest celebrity crushes
Shania Twain Salma Hayek Kate Beckinsale Shakira Veronica Lake
Tim Byrd chose Shania Twain, Salma Hayek, Kate Beckinsale, Shakira, Veronica Lake.
Tim Byrd – books you love
Winter's Tale Something Wicked This Way Comes Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West Lonesome Dove The Stand
Tim Byrd chose Winter’s Tale, Something Wicked This Way Comes, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, Lonesome Dove, The Stand.
Tim Byrd – Where you have lived
Jonesboro, GA Chattanooga, TN Treysa, Germany Kassel, Germany Decatur, GA
Tim Byrd chose Jonesboro, GA, Chattanooga, TN, Treysa, Germany, Kassel, Germany, Decatur, GA.

(I searched for images that truly captured the heart and soul of each of these places).

I’ve been having a bit of fun coming up with my own versions. Here are two I liked doing:

Tim Byrd – Ingredients You’d Mix To Make Me
Indiana Jones Groucho Marx A Werewolf Wyatt Earp Joss Whedon
Tim Byrd chose Indiana Jones, Groucho Marx, A Werewolf, Wyatt Earp, Joss Whedon.
Tim Byrd – People I Should Have Married Instead.
Felicia Day Shania Twain JK Rowling Caroline Dhavernas Mary Louise Parker
Tim Byrd chose Felicia Day, Shania Twain, JK Rowling, Caroline Dhavernas, Mary Louise Parker.

Listen To My Radio Debut

mikeI was slated to be on Alpha Waves, the Internet science fiction radio show tonight, one of three guests discussing pulp fiction, as I mentioned in this post. But I realized that I’d agreed to it without remembering that tonight was also the debut event of my friend Terra Elan McVoy’s first novel, Pure. I checked with the guys at Alpha Waves, and they cheerfully agreed to prerecord my segment. Thanks for the flexibility, guys.

So, this morning I called in via Skype and host Nick Chase and I discussed Doc Wilde  and pulp fiction for a while, and it was a good time, even though it was my first time doing this sort of thing. I just listened to the full show with my son, and I have to hand it to the hosts, they do a great job. Eric Mona of Planet Stories and writer Gareth Michael Skarka were interviewed in the segments before mine, and were both very informative and entertaining, leaving me wondering if we’d get to my bit and I’d be all like “Uhhhh…dopey me…” in comparison.

Well, I’m pleased with the way it turned out. That being the case, I’m actually going to tell you where you can find it if you want to listen to it:

Alpha Waves Radio: Pulp Fiction

Ronald Reagan: Douche Bag

From Time:

It was revealed last week that the future President played another role as well: as a secret FBI informant, code name T-10. According to an article published in the San Jose Mercury News, documents obtained through the Freedom of Information Act indicate that Reagan and his first wife, Actress Jane Wyman, provided federal agents with the names of actors they believed were Communist sympathizers.

Well, golly, I sure am surprised.

The Truth about the Columbine Killers

An interesting article in the USA Today updates our knowledge about the two losers who shot up their classmates at Columbine, and puts the lie to much of the information that has been parcelled out over the years:

“These are not ordinary kids who were bullied into retaliation,” psychologist Peter Langman writes in his new book, Why Kids Kill: Inside the Minds of School Shooters. “These are not ordinary kids who played too many video games. These are not ordinary kids who just wanted to be famous. These are simply not ordinary kids. These are kids with serious psychological problems.“

The whole article is quite interesting, and can be read here.

Be All You Can Be (Stay a Civilian)

The past decade has seen a severe resurgence of militarism in the American psyche, a wave George W. Bush surfed gleefully as he destroyed our economy and standing in the world, embroiled us in a needless war instead of pursuing the actual war on terror, and decimated a generation or three as he enriched himself and his pals. It became mandatory to pay tribute to our brave troops and their sacrifice, and any criticism of the military or Bush’s invasion was refracted back on the critics as an accusation that they “didn’t support the troops,” were unpatriotic, or even that they supported our enemies.

Thankfully, after eight years of Bush’s shit, all but the dimmest of the dim realized what a disaster he was as a president, and what a colossal fuckup the Iraq war has been. We have a new president, who is doing a pretty good job overall, though I have concerns (then again, after two terms of Bush, Obama could do nothing but stand in the sun smearing feces in his hair for a year and I’d still give him kudos for doing a better job), and hopefully sanity has mostly returned.

I have always been against the war in Iraq. When Bush “won” in 2000, I predicted that we’d invade. Being correct was not a point of pleasure. I am not blind to the inevitability of war, or the necessity to defend one’s nation “against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” and indeed I voluntarily served in the US Army in large part out of a sense of duty. I believe in fighting when you have to, or when it’s the right thing to do (like our routing of the Taliban and al Qaeda).

So, as a patriot, and a veteran, I’d like to share with you, Continue reading →

Podcast Adventures (aka My Life As a Meme)

My post about optimism and action, pulp heroes, and the roleplaying game Spirit of the Century has proven to be one of the most popular posts I’ve ever written. It seems to have become a small-scale meme, bouncing around from reader to reader, echoing in other blogs, other places…

One place it echoed was on the gaming podcast Canon Puncture (if you don’t want to listen to the whole thing, the pertinent segment begins right around time-mark 24:34):

Canon Puncture Podcast

I really enjoyed these guys’ comments.

Feeling Mortal

Today’s my birthday.

I’m 45, if I’m figuring correctly. Something like that. And I’m feeling my mortality, not because I really care how many years I’ve been alive, or even how many more I have left. I’m feeling mortal because my world is bashed in like an old box that holds some of your favorite things but fell off the moving truck on the highway.

The overwhelmingly most important thing about my birthday is this: I’m not spending it with my son.

This is, literally, my own fault, because my ex offered to swap days this week to accommodate my birthday, and I declined. I’m planning to celebrate with him when he’s back in a few days, and I really don’t care much when the day is celebrated, just that I get to celebrate with him.

So, then why is the fact that he’s not here today the “overwhelmingly most important thing?”

Simply because life has brought me to this point, at all. There used to be no question about whether I’d get to be with my kid on my birthday, or his, or Christmas, or Saturday. Now, it’s an issue to be decided, to be bartered with, to dwell on.

So, really, the important thing isn’t that he’s not here on my birthday…it’s that he’s not here.

Add to that the Damoclesean blade hanging overhead that is the custody fight, and my ex’s stance that she should have him 75% of the time, and the dreary fact that instead of doing something enjoyable today, on my birthday, which I’m not going to spend with my son, I’m being forced to do legal discovery paperwork to defend the time I do still have with him (and defend his desire and right to have equal relationships with his parents)…and I sort of feel too soul weary to give much of a damn that I was born on any particular day a lifetime ago.

Two Baker’s Dozens of Things About Me, Minus One

Yes, I’m on Facebook. Yes, I’ve been tagged.

I started one of these “25 Random Things About Me” lists last week and in trying to think of things to share, ran about twenty-five things short.

Then I decided to be a witty prick about it, and make a list of things like this:

1. I am a biped.
2. I can count on my fingers and toes, but only so high.
3. I’m carbon-based, biologically speaking.
4. I absorb sustenance from food I take in at the mouth…

Then, for those who’d suffered through, I’d throw in a zinger:

25. I’m hung like a horse.

But sometimes the effort to be a witty prick is more than it’s worth. And I found myself enjoying some of my friends’ lists, those who made an effort and actually shared some interesting things.

Then, in re-connecting with someone I’d lost long ago, I discovered I remembered far more of what we’d gone through together, and meant to each other, than she did. And she, with the logical precision of one who has spent most of her adult life in the financial sector, actually tallied up the things she “felt she really knew” about me, a list of three things, and decided that we were acquaintances, not friends.

It was all very silly, and I realized immediately I don’t really need friends in my life who track relationships on a spreadsheet. But I did have the witty prick thought that, “Maybe if I’d done one of those lists, and you knew twenty-five things about me, then I could be your friend.”

But sometimes the effort to befriend someone is more than it’s worth. All the same, I decided to make another sincere attempt at my list of 25 things, because I do have friends out there I know will appreciate the effort. So here goes: Continue reading →

Coyote’s Been Messin’ With My Cookies

The universe is trying to fuck with my head.

About a week and a half ago, my son and I ordered Chinese food from a local establishment and it was divinely tasty (Pyng Ho, for you curious Decaturites). Afterward, we broke out the fortune cookies to see what Destiny had to say. Nathaniel cracked his first, and I don’t remember what his fortune was. Then I cracked mine open, to find…nothing. No fortune at all.

We joked around about my lack of destiny, my looming doom, that sort of thing.

Well, last night was the weekly family night, in which he and I and my soon-to-be-ex get together so Nathaniel can still have some of the family dynamic he craves (a nice side effect is, it also allows me and the soon2bx to be around each other in a friendly way, regularly, which I think helps alleviate a good deal of the acid that can build up between people getting divorced). We alternate hosting, and it was her turn and she’d decided we were going to go to Doc Chey’s for whatever remained of their Chinese New Year festivities. Doc Chey’s however was closed for that sacred of sacreds, the Superbowl. A quick discussion of possible alternates led to an eager vote for Pyng Ho from Nathaniel, who was salivating over the memory of their sesame chicken.

So, to Pyng Ho we go.

A mussels appetizer that was just tasty goodness. Shrimp fried rice, sesame chicken, and teriyaki chicken, all split three ways. Mango lemonade for me, a honey-peach smoothie for Nathaniel, hot green tea (that never actually arrived for some reason, and I have to say our server, who wasn’t busy, was brusque almost to the point of rudeness) for the soon2bx. A wonderful meal.

Then, the fortune cookies. Nathaniel went first, read his. Soon2bx was next, read hers. My turn. We made some cracks about my lingering lack of fortune from the last time, then I broke it open.

Inside, there were two fortunes.

Communications Breakdown

As a writer, communication is my business. As a person, communication is vital to my mental health. You’d think I’d be better at it, but as those close to me could tell you, not so much. Continue reading →