Scary [Updated]

Severe heartbreak. Deaths of old friends. A resurgence of depression. My son outta town for a couple weeks.

And now…drumroll please…cancer scare!

What the fuck, is it sweeps week?

[UPDATE: After the tests, it turned out I was okay.]

Turns out, my digestive trauma/internal bleeding back around the turn of the year, maybe significant. Turns out, dropping twenty pounds in a month and a half and not being able to regain any of it, maybe significant. Turns out, a few warts and an odd bump in my skin, maybe significant. Turns out, uncharacteristically major spikes of stress caused by minor upsets, maybe significant.

So today was day 1 of tests. Friday’s day 2, with a specialist, and this morning the doc pointed me to another specialist who I’ll likely see next week. Today was all about blood. Friday is likely to be a biopsy. And day 3 will probably entail a full-on colonoscopy.

For some reason, I’m tense. And sad. Well…I was already sad. But now, really tense too. It’s hard to focus on anything. I hope to get my writing done today, at least 500 words, but will at least make sure to get my pushup regimen done.

When fighting demons, you gotta stay in shape.

3 comments on “Scary [Updated]

  1. Doc Cross says:

    That sucks big time. Hopefully, it’s not cancer, but some much less scary thing that your body is doing just to mess with you. Stoopid bodies!

    Hang in there and do what you’ve got to do.

  2. Well, holy f***in’ crap.

    St. Francis called the body “Brother Ass.” With good reason.

    Wishing you well.


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