It’s no wonder Republicans can’t manage a big tent. They can’t even handle an umbrella.
Category Archives: Funny
Lovecraftian Whimsy
A short blog post on the Doc Wilde site regarding Muzski’s awesome Lovecraft art…
Lovecraftian Whimsy
Superman’s Rash Solution
Today, in honor of Superman’s 75th anniversary, I’d like to share a story…
Not many people are aware of the fact that the Bottled City of Kandor actually uses kryponite-run nuclear reactors for power, and there is a (relatively) huge mass of the element beneath the city. Naturally, mining the ore can be very dangerous for those of Kryptonian descent, and early on even the best protective measures proved insufficient, as miners continued to develop terrible rashes even when wearing highly shielded suits. Superman ultimately solved the problem, of course, by developing a special cream which completely eradicated the rash and even had a mild pleasant scent. This salve is now sold in pharmacies in Kandor under the name “Kal-El Mine Lotion.”
Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all week…
The Many Deaths of a Cat
In this hilariously dark car commercial, a cat falls prey to product loyalty.
PANCAKES
In certain circles, there has been a royal stink the past few days about, of all things, pancakes. I don’t actually know the particulars and feel like my brain cells are better occupied with other things, but as an antidote to that particular venom, and any other you may be suffering from, I offer up this classic Hellboy tale by Mike Mignola. I hope it’s okay to do so, as these two pages are widely available on the net, and I originally read the tale as a free digital comic on the Dark Horse Comics website. If I hear otherwise, I’ll remove it.
Cookie Monster Presents The Song Of The Week, 8/30/2012
It’s all about the cookies this week…
First, this isn’t a song, but it is the funniest damn thing I’ve seen in a couple or three weeks on the internet. I’ve probably watched it twenty or more times and I always laugh:
Our actual song this week I offer in honor of the Republican National Convention currently infesting Tampa, “God’s Away On Business” by Tom Waits, karaoked by Cookie Monster…
I’d sell your heart to the junkman baby
For a buck, for a buck…
If you’re looking for someone to pull you out of that ditch
You’re out of luck, you’re out of luck…
How To Draw Super-Chicks
An awesome commentary on how women are portrayed by artists from the damned talented Krisztianna:
A Visual Guide To Publishing*
*Traditional publishing, that is.
Author Nathan Bransford has posted a clever visual timeline of a writer’s experience in writing and publishing a book. It’s funny and accurate, though he left off the parts at the end where you don’t get any promotion for your book and it probably falls out of print before your next one is ready for release. Or the part where they don’t pick up your next one because they blew their budget for this quarter on Snooki’s new magnum opus.
Also, it’s amazing how many of these steps disappear if you publish as an indie, and how much more quickly your book is available even if you do the necessary things you ought to do, like making sure it’s properly edited…
The Publishing Process in GIF Form
Henri, The Existential Cat
Oh, Henri.
The Little (Justice) League Is Charming And Funny
You really need to check out “Little League,” Yale Stewart’s awesome elementary school take on the Justice League. Here’s a sample (and they begin here):
Lil Avengers (A Must See!)
Aside from my own upcoming Doc Wilde releases, there’s no media event this year I’m looking forward to more than Joss Whedon’s Avengers. And I usually wouldn’t share a Target commercial, but this one is just cute as hell and friggin’ cool, so you need to see it.
For Your Batmanny Weekend Enjoyment…
I failed to post this week’s “Free Fiction Friday” post yesterday because I was so swamped with everything I needed to do for the Astonishing Adventures of Doc Wilde Kickstarter launch. For the untold millions who only bought a computer so they could get their weekly fix, I’m sorry.
The Doc Wilde relaunch is off to a great start; just over twenty hours in, we’re at 26% of our funding target (which is the minimum we need for the Kickstarter to succeed, not a maximum amount for the relaunch). If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll visit the link above to see what’s up.
As a special treat to make up for my Free Fiction lapse (which I shall endeavor to remedy later today), I offer you this incredibly endearing and goofy piece of Batmania that someone put a helluva lot of time and money and work into…and which kinda makes me think Bat-Mite is around somewhere… Continue reading
An eagle, a fox and a cat were hangin’ out on a porch…
This is pretty amazing.
How To Stop your Child From Becoming An Atheist
Brilliant.
At Chuck Norris’s Expense
I’m on record for my huge disdain for the dropping-that-walks-like-a-man named Chuck Norris. I’m also a huge fan of Clint Eastwood.
So there was really no way I couldn’t share this once I saw it…
The Quite Amusing Death of Superman!!!
A very funny and dead-on look at DC Comics’ cynical and crappy “Death of Superman” epic storyline marketing stunt.
Thanks to Tess Fowler for sharing.
Books and Wonderful (You MUST See This)
As a devoted fan of Buster Keaton, books, and the amazing William Joyce, I have to say The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore may just be the most wonderful short film I have ever seen. It’s currently up for an Academy Award.
You need to see this, probably over and over…
Chuck Norris, Reviled & Revisited
Chuck Norris is a dingleberry on the ass of cinema and a toxic boil of a man.
I’ve blogged about this before, in which I grumped about the Chuck Norris jokes that are so widespread, aggrandizing a man who in no way deserves it, and I offered up my own Chuck Norris jokes to replace them.
I just updated that post with new jokes. You can read ‘em all here.
Bad-Ass 8 Year Old
Little Juliet puts the Rebecca Blacks of the world in their place.
It’s the Apocalypse. My Bad.
When I was a kid, I’d sometimes slip into action movie mode while doing mundane tasks. One of the ways I did this was to suddenly realize that there was a doomsday timer attached to my current action, and if I didn’t accomplish it in time, the world would explode.
Will I finish tying my shoe before the phone rings again…or will the world EXPLODE…?
Can I keep holding my breath until the commercial ends…or will the world EXPLODE…?
Will I make it through the evening without my father getting drunk and mean…or will the world EXPLODE…?
The world exploded fairly regularly on that last one.
This morning, I woke up at six, the time I get up when my son is here and has school. But he’s with his mom today, so there was no reason to get up that early, so I went back to sleep.
I had an odd dream in which I was visiting New York on a whim, seeing old friends and older enemies. And I misplaced my copy of The Trembling of a Leaf, the best porn erotic novel I ever read.
I woke up again and it was after nine. Later than intended, but no big deal, I have no place to be. Grabbed my iPad from the bedside, headed to the living room, put the iPad on the couch, and let the cat in for breakfast (“Noms,” quoth he). In the kitchen, I poured a cup of last night’s coffee and put it in the microwave for a minute and a half.
I fed the cat. Went to take a leak. Pulled on a shirt. Returned to the living room. I picked up the iPad and reached for its cord to plug it in to charge…and heard the hum of the microwave, still nuking my coffee.
I suddenly realized I had to stick the plug into the iPad before the microwave chimed…
I acted swiftly, bringing my hands toward each other, aiming the little plug for the slot at the gadget’s base. They touched. I wiggled the plug into position–
DING.
The world exploded.
