I fully support Donald Trump in his quest for the Republican candidacy for President of the United States.
Now, people who know me might automatically think I’m trying to be funny, or that I figure Trump would be easy for Obama to beat, so that’s why I’d like him to be the chosen candidate. But after the last decade, I no longer trust the American people’s ability to make smart decisions in their own best interests; at this point, if Trump won the office it wouldn’t actually come as a surprise to me. And Obama has been such a bowl of gruel, after promising a succulent banquet of hope and change, that I know he’s probably beatable.
No, I support Trump as the Republican candidate because I think he’s the best they have to offer. Yes, he’s a corporate shark. Yes, he’s a narcissistic douche-bag. Yes, he’d probably be a bad president. But I’m more concerned with what he isn’t.
He’s not a religious nut who wants to take us back to the days of Cotton Mather. He doesn’t want to burn witches or books, he doesn’t want to outlaw people’s private sexual choices, he doesn’t want to bring on the friggin’ Rapture by attacking heathen countries. Far as I know, he doesn’t want to teach children ancient fairy tales in school instead of science.
He’s not beholden to corporate interests. This one might seem surprising, but I think that Trump is so insulated in his World of Trump ™, so completely narcissistic, that he doesn’t give a fuck about other corporate douche-bags. As long as he gets his — the power, the money, the attention — I don’t think he’s going to put a lot of energy into protecting and furthering the corporate oligarchy now running things. (Which may make him actually preferable to Obama on that front).
He’s not a tea-bagger. Sure he’s pandering like a flat-broke hooker who hasn’t eaten in two weeks with all this nonsense about Obama’s birth certificate, but surely no one actually thinks he believes it for a second. He’s just stroking them, trying to make ‘em purr, the same way the GOP power brokers have been doing.
If Trump took the presidency, the results would likely be terrible. But he probably wouldn’t do nearly as much damage to our country, and to the world, as George W. Bush did, or as much as the rest of the assholes the GOP is likely to field would do.
[UPDATE FOR THE OBTUSE: Read closely. I say I support Trump being the Republican candidate. I do not say I support him being president, though I do say he'd probably be less damaging than any other possible GOP contender right now.]